Cenizo Journal Winter 2012 | Page 9

45 miles per hour – for the slowness of the approach up the conduit. What expectation the approach churns up! The entry of FM 170 from the top of Big Hill is of a differ- ent order. That classic of desert icons: ridgeline behind ridge- line walking out the vastness. Mist folded into mist. When that sliver of a river far below becomes a guide and winds us back into time. As if we might see, in the reaching before us of that untouched, clean-as-slate space, Alsate and his band of Apaches on horseback crossing at Lajitas. Hunter-gatherers foraging? The Tertiary spew- ing hot plumes of ash? Dinosaurs lazily grazing the lushness of a shore of the Mesozoic Gulf ? Or is it, as our view extends out, that we are simultaneously dreaming down a vastness in our own psyches, equally mist folding into mist, depth into depth, where we lose ourselves and simply are? 118 south of Elephant resists such flights. Remains firmly physical. A bodily force pro- pelling us across the rolling swells of the O2 flats. This, the middle realm of the passage, taking its name from the cattle ranch it is passing beside, and all that of Alpine and the Double Diamond, all the stuff of our modern times is fading as we move into – we know not what. For there, in the middle of the flats, the sense is of a world emptying out – except for Santiago, the portal mountain, now standing stern and forbid- ding in its initial profile on our left, while on the far horizon, we see little more than blips of tiny tepee-like projections. But curving down onto Upper Ranch, beginning there at the sign for the Cowboy Mine, the passage ramps up in earnest, and those little projections on the horizon, as if just emerging, grow up in complexity. Nine Point Mesa lines out left. The Corozones and the Christmas Mountains behind, and behind all, ghostly, the Chisos. On the other side of the road the scalloped edges of the Solitario pass the eye to Agua Fria Mountain humping up huge in its mammoth crouch, and Hen Egg Mountain becomes that perfect, great ovoid. Then alongside Adobe Walls, opposite the Longhorn Motel, the road gathers into itself to shoot the roller coaster of that wonder of a disorient- ing spate of igneous intrusions (a tip of the hat to the colum- nar beauty of Willow Mountain), makes that final drop beside Bee Mountain into Study Butte and hits the bot- tom floor running. Again, as beside Elephant – the land rushing out like a breaking wave. Only here, it’s as if the feel of the physical landscape, that has long accompanied us from Elephant, condenses down, infuses the visual of the Study Butte badlands with a seeming solidity of substance – as if airy space had suddenly been made tactile. Like that within Donald Judd’s aluminum boxes in the artillery sheds at his compound in Marfa. Only here it’s every- thing outside, the desert itself. The feel of a hand out the car window is one of slicing through an air that has become a kind of invisible soil. Our bodies, too, somehow breathed- up in their very cells, stand tall in a heightened sense of Being. What to call, how to deal with these dimensions we encounter entering the Bend? This yearning for the unbound (Holderlin). This baptism of solitude (Paul Bowles). This sense of absence (an obverse of openness), from which pres- ence arises. Presence, the ancient name of Being (Heidegger). But already nihilists are screaming foul. Maybe beauti- ful, but strike that and what remains is just a superabundant quotidian of rock and cactus and raven. Yet they come, the god-possessed, the spirit seek- ers. Take away the word “imminence” and what they’re hearing is God “about to” speak to them. Take away the scrim of a timeline and that vastness is an exhilarating rush into a new- found freedom. Or murky dives into the deeper realms of Self. But more than the cate- gories we might append, what is important, at least initially, is the movement these dimen- sions kick up within our souls, spirits, mind. That’s what’s so alive! How the bright presence of desert grace revivifies, renews the blood rush of being alive. Then that first step out into the desert space carries within itself a quickened wholeness, the body felt as tak- ing charge of the space it occu- pies, present to that presence that is all around it. Still the experience is most noticed, most freshly in our face, when entering. Stealing upon us in that place where we are always silently alone with ourselves. Gazing out the car windows as we penetrate mile after mile. Or stopping, getting out, staring off. Maybe walking off a ways. How it teases, draw- ing us on. Wanting further, deeper. To take us by the hand and move us out across that ballroom floor that is the dance through desert space. The Episcopal Church Welcomes You Scripture • Tradition • Reason Sunday 10 a.m. Christian Education and 11 a.m. Morning Prayer or Eucharist Wednesday 6 p.m. Contemplative Prayer Friday 5:30 p.m. Prayers for Evening and the Healing of the World First Fridays 6 p.m. Concert St. James’ Episcopal Church • Ave. A and N. 6th St., Alpine 432.837.7313 A magical oasis in the Chihuahuan Desert of Texas Off the Pinto Canyon Rd near Ruidosa rustic lodging camping day use 432.229.4165 chinatihotsprings.com under new management Mike Murphy Debbie Murphy Broker/Owner Agent Mexican and American Food Famous Beef & Chicken Fajitas • Ice Cream • Clean, Fast Service Rene & Maria Franco, Owners 513 O’Reilly Street • Downtown Presidio 432.229.4409 Cenizo First Quarter 2012 9