Gone

There ' s nothing left except emptiness . Goats are gone . Dogs are gone . You ' re gone . Burnt down goat houses Empty dog houses Empty heart . Papa , you ' re gone . The fences we put up are falling apart , Rusty , weathered down and tired Like me . You left and whilst it ' s the circle of life And you lived a long life … longer than many . My head understands this , But my heart misses you so much . Papa , you ' re gone . It ' s surreal , empty , cold and unbelievable . The sun hits the land once made me smile . Goats are gone . Dogs are gone . You ' re gone .

* I wrote Gone on 09 / 22 / 2022 . It would have been his 80th birthday .

Where Are You ?

There was a time that I always knew where you were . A time I could still remember your scent and feel the comfort of your warm embrace . There was a time I felt protected when you held my hands , when I could still feel your love shining through your blue eyes . Now , I just wonder where you are . Are you in the cool fall morning air that has now swept in ? Are you in the beautiful Texas sunsets that I ' ve been seeing since you left ? Are you coming in from a dive at our favorite beach in Curacao ? Are you going back to our spots in Europe ? Are you in the Grand Canyon with your mule ? Or are you in Alpine , Texas , with your goats ? Are you finding our perfect spot in Playa El Agua , Venezuela ? Where are you ? Cause you ' re not here anymore . Are you in all the little things that remind me of you ? Some say you ' re looking down at me . Where are you Papa ? Are you nowhere and everywhere at the same time ? Part of you is in my memories and in my heart . You will always be the person that loved me the most And I will always wonder where you are .

Memorized You

These days I find myself memorizing you . I memorize the blue depth of your eyes when you look at me . The way your eyes shame the stars when you hold your grandchildren . I memorize the way it feels when you hold me in a tight embrace . The way your hands look , your touch , the way you smell , the experience in your silver hair . I memorized the lessons you taught and the stories you told . I memorize the melody of your voice when you say my name , the warmth in your “ I love you .” I have memorized you because one day all I will have left are memories of you .