Cenizo Journal Summer 2017 | Page 12

Charred Root of Meaning Story and photographs by Philipp W. Rosemann I first traveled to the Big Bend in the spring of 2011, having lived in Texas for 14 years without discov- ering its most extraordinary part. It was articles in the New York Times on Marfa and Marathon that had sparked my curiosity, making me Google and read more about those remote and mythical places in the desert, a mere seven hours’ drive from Dallas. In Europe, seven hours lets you cross the boundaries of three or four countries—well, certain countries, like the Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxemburg. But still, Texas is big, by any standards. It is larger than France and almost twice the size of Germany, my native country. I went with my partner. It was a brief vacation, just to get away from Dallas for a few days during spring break. We flew into Midland/Odessa, rented a small car, and headed south, via Fort Stockton and Alpine toward Marfa, our first stop. My partner, who was born in Odessa, had at first not been thrilled about this trip. I certainly understood why. Odessa is, sad to say, a singularly ugly place, and the monot- onous steppe that surrounds it, with the oil rigs and the gas smell that reminds you of a leak in your kitchen stove, is hardly much better. As we drove fur- ther south, however, and the dusty prairie gradually opened up to the mountains, the sight dispelled any doubts about the wisdom of our trip. Over the next few days, we explored Marfa, where we learned about 12 Cenizo Third Quarter 2017 Donald Judd, drove on FM 170 to the National Park (trying not to veer off the road and right down the bluff into the Rio Grande), hiked to the Window, were scared of Mexican riders who had, it seemed, taken possession of Boquillas, and finally returned by way of Marathon. It was a short time, but full of memorable impressions. Neither of us had ever been to a place as ruggedly beautiful as the Big Bend. I returned almost exactly a year later. In March 2012, I came alone, however, since in the meantime my partner had committed suicide. I came to weep and pray, shaken to the core and still not quite sure what had hap- pened. This is the kind of thing one reads about, but does not expect in one’s own life—until it hits you, brutal- ly and without warning, one night when you come home. Then, sudden- ly, you see the truth: there are no guar- antees in life, anything can happen; the idea that you can control your fate is pathetically naïve. I had a reservation—made long in advance, and hence for two—in the historic section of the Indian Lodge. On my very first afternoon, right after getting there, I climbed up the path behind the lodge, into the stillness of the hills. The landscape still bore the scars of the Rock House fire, which had devastated Presidio and Jeff Davis counties in April of the previous year. In particular, I noticed that all the sotols had been reduced to charred stumps, whose ashen blackness dotted