Cenizo Journal Spring 2020 | Page 7

C enizo Notes by Danielle Gallo A Love (and Loathing) in the time of COVID-19 s I write this there are 356 confirmed feel like collaboration with cases of COVID-19 in the state of Texas. the enemy, like the Vichy The CDC estimates tell us that for every “I’ve been spending my time closed up French, like the people who look away from atrocity Yesterday County in my house examining these feelings. are utterly foreign to me, because in my life I have to close all hotels, motels, vacation rentals and I turn them over and over in my mind, trickle of visitors to the region. noting their topography, doubting their right is actually practicable in reality. veracity, trying to be a good scientist.” house examining these feelings. I turn them over confirmed case there are up to 50 that have not been tested. the Brewster Commissioner’s Court voted in an emergency session campgrounds, to help discourage the continuing That’s something that has baffled me in all of this: the families in RVs, the motorcycle guys, the college kids from Austin who have happily come galivanting into the Big Bend after all gatherings of 10 or more when groups of people from Odessa drive down here and entire states have been ordered to shelter in cleaning out an entire semi-truck-load of paper goods people have been banned, schools have been closed place. I see posts on social media from these people, with selfies and panoramic views of mountains and sunsets, bragging about how they’re enjoying their ‘self-isolation’ in my backyard. The Secretary of the Interior has unhelpfully eliminated entrance fees to national parks, over the desperate objections of superintendents and small adjacent communities nationwide. And a certain demographic of the public to buy up the commodities they’re out of back home, in less than an hour, leaving nothing for those of us and over in my mind, noting their topography, doubting their veracity, trying to be a good scientist. Am I, after all, just another hypocrite whose principles evaporate under the smallest pressure? In a desperate situation, would I turn my back on others to protect only my own? What is my own? Is want to shout at strangers, tell them to go home, ask inclusion end? line. My ability to restrain myself is in question. I them why they’re putting our elderly at risk, why they aren’t where they ought to be. I want to shake them, make them understand that people live here, that we have two ventilators to serve more than have a biological imperative toward protectionism. be out of the question. How dare they? How can they ongoing stockpiling of toilet paper (what?). So, I’ve been spending my time closed up in my it just my family, or does it include my friends? My 10,000 people, and that when this disease inevitably Sometimes this manifests comically, as in the had no direct experience with hardship and dearth. I haven’t ever had to prove that what I believe is who live here, where we’re already at the end of the has taken this opportunity to go on vacation. This is the loathing part. In times of danger, we to protect their possessions and their status. They town? My larger community? Where does the I’m relieved to say that it doesn’t. The resounding “NO!” in my brain when I encounter the “other” in my town is not greed for the things they’re taking away from us, but an incredulous fear for how ignorant they are about the ramifications of their reaches us finding real medical care elsewhere will actions. Ignorance can be corrected, and I can forgive be so selfish, so ignorant, so entitled? consequences of the stupidity of some might well be These feelings I have are anathema to everything it (though I’ll admit the struggle is real). The devastating for many, but it doesn’t stem from Sometimes it rises viscerally, as anger, almost rage, I believe and hold dear. These feelings echo attitudes enjoying a stroll down main street or availing a border wall to keep out the people who are “taking governments to mandate the correct decisions from sound like nationalism on a very small scale. They Continued on page 17 like when I see a charming family of four cluelessly themselves of some barbecue at the Brick Vault. My monkey brain overwhelms me in the dollar store I despise in others, such as those who want to build our jobs” or “ruining our culture.” These feelings SUBSCRIPTIONS Print subscriptions will be mailed for $29 annually. Send payment via check or credit card to Cenizo Journal, PO Box 920700, El Paso, Texas 79902 or call 432-614-4074 ext 1 SUBMISSION We’d like to feature your work in the Cenizo Journal. Contact Danielle Gallo at editor@cenizojournal.com for submission information or mail to PO Box 227, Marathon, Texas 79842. Cenizo Journal is published four times per year. © 2020 Cenizo Journal. Copyright of all art and images contained within are retained by the image owner and are used with permission. malice. It is the result of poor leadership, a faulty flow of information, and a slow response from our our people. When ill-informed people are allowed to SPRING EDITION • APRIL 2020 - JUNE 2020 CENIZO JOURNAL STAFF PUBLISHER Riley Stephens publisher@cenizojournal.com ASSOCIATE EDITOR Rani Birchfield aed@cenizojournal.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Danielle Gallo editor@cenizojournal.com DESIGN/PRODUCTION Ceci Marquez Cenizo Spring 2020 7