pack of Big Bend beer and walks over
to me.
“Your name is Joe isn’t it?”
“Yes it is, how did you know?”
“Oh, I’ve been watching you since
breakfast. Mind if I ride along with
you?”
“Yes ma’am, please, I’m just fooling
around enjoying a nice summer
night.”
“I enjoy that too, good night for it,
how about a beer?”
After we went a mile or two, I asked
her how she knew my name was Joe,
and what was her name?
“I heard your buddy call you that
when you were walking out of the cafe
this morning. My first name is
Mother, last name Nature. I’m that
woman you’ve been thinking about
tonight. I saw you come out of the cafe
after breakfast, and just decided to fol-
low you today. I thought you were
kinda cute.”
“How else does Mother Nature
spend her days?”
“Well, I’m not always a human; yes-
terday I was a bird part of the day and
flew down the Rio Grande. I added
some water to the river downstream
from El Paso, enough to flood it and
cut the original channel through the
silt all the way to the gulf. I caused a
couple of cracks in the Glen Canyon
Dam on the Colorado but the folks
that work there will have plenty of time
to get out before it falls down. After
that I put some more wolves in
Yellowstone, became one, and hung
around long enough that I knew they
were comfortable. Then today I came
back here, and drove my car out where
you found me and just waited for you
to get there. I wasn’t really out of gas.”
“Yeah, I noticed your car only held
eight gallons. It bothers me a little that
you know what I’m thinking. Are you
just a crazy woman?”
“No, watch this, Joe. In one minute
two rabbits are going to run across the
road in front of you in opposite direc-
tions and just past them you’ll see a
polar bear standing up on your right,
and I promise to quit reading your
mind.”
First the rabbits, then the bear!
“Well, I’ll be damned, I guess you real-
ly are who you say you are, or that was
just one hell of a trick. One thing
though, if you don’t mind, I’d like to
call you Honey instead of Mother. I’m
sure you might understand.”
“Sure, I’ll answer to Honey, and if
you don’t mind turn Bob back on, he’s
my favorite too. Want another beer?”
We just rode on into the night lis-
tening to the music, me wondering
what the hell I had got myself into and
Honey with her bare feet on the dash,
looking out the window, sipping on her
beer and smiling.
“Joe, I know we’re getting close to
your house and I know you have a bot-
tle of whiskey, could we just sit outside,
look at the stars, and have a couple of
drinks?”
“Yes ma’am, be there in about ten
minutes. It’s a farmhouse about a
quarter mile off the road, we’ll turn in
and park.”
“Nice place you’ve got here Joe, real
comfortable, and you’re a good house-
keeper, looks great.”
“How do you like your whiskey?”
“Just a little ice, thanks. Can we sit
outside? Such a nice night if I do say so
myself.”
“Head on out the back door, there’s
a couple of lawn chairs and a little
table, I’m right behind you. Honey, I
guess you know the name of every one
of those stars.”
“Yes I do, some have gone out, and
become something else, and some are
brand new, so to speak, just the way
the atoms all lined up.”
“Have you ever been a star?”
“No, I can’t get off the earth. This is
my planet. I want you to know I’m not
mean and am not responsible for the
disasters that happen. That’s just the
way this place evolves. I can’t do any-
thing about it. I can make it rain
sometimes though, and that’s what I’m
up to tomorrow, trying to stop a couple
of droughts and fill some lakes with
drinking water. Could I have another
drink, and one of your cigarettes?”
“How did you decide what kind of
human to be?”
“Well, you’re kind of an experi-
ment. I had never experienced life as
a human and wanted to give it a try. I
made myself your age, and tried to
look like someone you would be
attracted to, just had to guess at that,
but I could tell you had a good spirit.”
“Honey, you have to realize how
crazy this is for me, surely you must
have some idea. I can’t quite get com-
fortable; hell you might flood me out if
I piss you off. You hit a good combi-
nation when you built yourself. You’re
real attractive to me, but I’m not sure
what you are.”
continued on page 24
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