Cenizo Journal Spring 2014 | Page 17

My great grandfather, W. E. Simpson, whom we always called Fat Grandpa, with one of his prized angora goats. the north wall, but the fireplace was knocked down in a misguided effort to make the land look as it had before people arrived. On the southwest cor- ner of the ruin is a flat stone the size of a doormat, the threshold of my grand- mother’s kitchen door, the spot where she stood to gaze on the Chisos to be rejuvenated. As I stand on the thresh- old to see what she saw, an intense ache rises in my throat. There is little more to my goodbye than that. I continue to explore the ground, occasionally stooping to pick up remnants of their lives: a flattened can aged to a purple-bronze shade, a sprig of rusted barbed wire, a desert- sanded shard of Mason jar. By law, I am only allowed to hold them for a while. Then I must put them back where I found them. In April of 1933, a late spring bliz- zard raged through the Big Bend a few days after the goats had been sheared of their angora coats. All but four goats froze to death in a single night. This time there was no way for the Simpsons to hold on. They packed up and walked away. There is no park monument to the Simpsons’ tenacity, resourcefulness, artistry and love of beauty, no plaque to tell their tale. The scant bits of their existence here are being reclaimed by the desert and lost in the vastness. On the wind, I catch a sweet floral scent and trace it to a low tuft of white flowers bobbing on grayish stems. In violation of park rules, I break off one of the blossoms to inhale its perfume on the way back to my van, thinking maybe I’ll identify it later. Before starting the van for the drive to Alpine, I sit for a while contemplat- ing this place and its meaning for me. I think, let this, then, be my family’s Big Bend legacy: a legion of thrifty, some- what stoic, interesting grandchildren and great-grandchildren and great- great-grandchildren. Among this tribe are scuba divers, travelers, artists, rodeo riders, mountain bikers, boat- builders, cooks, sailors, writers and fur- niture-makers who know how to have a good time and can fix their own trucks, plumb their own houses, or sew their own clothes. Among their com- mon traits are an appetite for adven- ture, a love of nature, little need for money, a strength and tenderness of spirit, and an ability to start over when such seems all but impossible. I know now why this rocky scrap of land has become my Tintern Abbey and my touchstone. I look at the little flower on my dashboard, admiring its fragile, pale petals, its powdery, sage-colored leaves, and its ability to bloom on hos- tile turf. I don’t need to know its name. My great-grandfather, W. E. Simpson, in the foreground facing toward his brother Luke Simpson and my grandmother, Roxie. The men appear to be laying out plans for a project. Cenizo Second Quarter 2014 17