Cenizo Journal Spring 2009 | Page 12

TEXAS TACOS by Denise Chávez I grew up between El Paso, Marfa, Presidio, and Redford, Texas, which in our family was called by its original name, El Polvo, the Dust, and Las Cruces, New Mexico, among women who didn’t have time to cook and were constantly on the run between teaching jobs and family chores. My mother and her sisters grazed on food through- out the day as they fulfilled their duties. These active women were content with an occasional tortilla de harina o maíz, either one, either hot or cold, with anything in between – cheese, baloney, beans, potted meat, corned beef hash, green chile, potatoes, egg, you name it. I became accustomed to my mother Delfina’s eating habits and eventually, they became my own. A lit- tle bit here, a little bit there, the hot tor- tilla coming off the comal to be eaten with butter or the aforementioned fill- ings, topped off by a dessert taco, little flutes of tortilla filled with jam, mem- brillo or fruit. My mother’s sister, Lucia, known to me as Tía Chita, lived in El Polvo with her husband and three children. Tío Enrique was the owner of the Madrid Grocery Store on county road 170, on route to the Big Bend. The haunting presence of the Río Grande dominated and cut a parallel swath through the landscape. At that time, although I would not have known how to articu- late it, the spirits, good and bad, lived alongside us and were kin. The Devil was ensconced in a near- by cave and no one disputed it. Once, on the way to Redford, my mother stopped the car to wake us up so we could see a UFO. A Catholic through and through, there was within my Mother and her family enough space for the magical to fully reside. The Marfa lights? 12 Cenizo No big deal. Elemental hooded creatures that hovered a few feet above the road appearing to move in slow motion and yet had to be moving real- ly fast? Part and parcel of the landscape but just don’t stop to share a taco. Our family was attuned to miracle and won- der, and I accepted it as I did the day in and day out of our lives. At that time, my mother’s world was another coun- try, wild, untamed and just to my liking, although I would have never admitted it then. The grocery store loomed large in our lives and was a memorable place full of mystery to me as a young girl. My little sister Margo and I would slip in as quietly as we could through the back door of the store right off Tío Enrique’s bedroom, folding ourselves expectantly into the large room that housed everything from Havoline oil to men’s pecheras, giant overalls. We looked around in awe at the candy dis- plays and peered into the freezer hop- ing someone would offer us a red, white and blue bullet popsicle or a orange ice cream in a little white push-up contain- er. We’d just eaten a loosely formed taco in my aunt’s kitchen and sweets were always on our mind, especially mine, and especially something from the grocery store. While we waited around for some- one to invite us into the store for a treat, we reflected on our state of being. My mother was a divorced woman who refused to admit it. She lived with the continual expectation that my errant father would return to her neat- ly rolled trays of tacos, cara side in, her special recipe including a binder of peas and cumin, salt, onion and much love. The cara or face referred to the side of the tortilla that hit the comal Second Quarter 2009 twice and was darker than the other, whiter side. Mother made sure we tucked the cara inside to make a nicer presentation, a cylinder of ground beef holding court in the oil-softened tor- tillas. My father was a New Mexico man and was never to be found in our Texas world. We spent part of every summer, every Christmas and random times of the year with my Tía Chita and her family. Sometimes I would have rather been at home but as children, we had no choice. Everything was different in Texas. We slept outside, we ate at odd hours and had no hard fast rules or schedules and yes, even the tacos were different. Everyone loved my mother’s New Mexico tacos. She prepared them for special occasions, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and parties. There was something formal about my mother’s crispy oven baked tacos and their hard cheese exteriors. In Texas, we never turned on an oven and I don’t remem- ber eating anything with hot cheese. The only thing I recall eating hot was a freshly made tortilla. I am grateful to my mother for her taco recipe and have continued her taco tradition, but nowadays my tacos have been the more formal kind. When I was younger I’d known the tasty remainders of pot roasts, chicken, chile rellenos, all tucked into a tortilla. Flour or corn, it never mattered. What is different now is the stuffing inside the tortilla. I’ve become very staid in my fillings. Tacos in Texas are different. More loosely organized, less weighty to think about. There’s something about the tortillas in San Antonio that I love. Mistakenly called tacos, they are really burritos in New Mexico, but who cares, they are so good. The laissez faire attitude of enjoying a taco on the run in some out of the way joint with a good salsa is something I love about my other country, Texas. I am New Mexican part of the time and Texan the other half. I’ve eaten tacos from Clint to Van Horn, from Marfa to my cousin’s restaurant, El Patio, in Presidio. In my growing up years we ate mostly at various destinations between one family member and another. Máma Toña and her hunch- backed sister, Manina, would be wait- ing in Marfa, my Aunt Lucy Franco in Presidio, my Tía Chita in Redford. We traveled the Texas Taco Trail, rarely eating out. What was there to eat out in restaurants but more tacos? And why would you pay for a taco when you could eat one at home for almost free? The tacos I knew best were the ones at my Tía Chita’s house, eaten at any time of the day, for people ate when they were hungry, without formal eat- ing hours or a designated eating area. We wandered when we ate and no one cared. Mi Tío Enrique ate at his pre- scribed times and then lay down in his dark bedroom to nap. We ate when my mother ate or when we were hungry, which could be anytime of the day or night and in any room of my aunt’s rambling house. You would walk into the kitchen and it was likely a helper of my aunt’s, maybe Lina or Belsora, was in there in front of the stove making homemade flour tortillas. Right off the stove, calientitas, you would wrap one up in a napkin, butter it and take it into the living room or the long bedroom to the side of the kitchen which was our usual place to sleep, or you would sit outside, tortilla in hand hoping to catch a breeze in the hot summer sun. My relatives ate piece-meal, frijolitos there, cheese here, you want some chili- to? Have some fideos. The vermicelli noodles that I so loved would slide into the taco. So would the albondigas, the beloved meatballs or the beans and rice become one solid entity inside the warm tortilla. I love to watch my Tía Chita eat, one tiny delicate bite at a time, rolling her tortillas like miniature cigars with meticulous care and grace. My mother ate more loosely and with more gusto. She loved tacos with any kind of well-cooked meat, what would be considered charred by anyone else. Despite our regard and respect for my mother’s aunt, Manina, my sister and I